Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
And then he peed in my hair
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