another moral hangover. fuck.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
