You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
