i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
