My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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