Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
