Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
