It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
