So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
