Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
In America we eat man semen.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
