We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
