Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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