I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
