I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
