Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
