Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
