My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
