Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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