you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
