sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
