i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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