Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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