is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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