Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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