im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
