My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
