I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
