My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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