Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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