Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
