did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
