My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
