found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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