So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
