he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
