I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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