Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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