I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
