From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
