it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
