Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
