I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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