He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
