Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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