just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
