honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
