It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
