Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
