even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
