So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
