i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
